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The Aussie is a plastic doll that sits atop to bookshelf in the Goliard newsroom and bloviates advice like a chatty Cathy. We decided to take questions for him and allow him to respond to them in this space until we figure out what else to do with him.

Aussies Advice

Column One - Concernin' wiv Sleepin' Quarters and Plain Sheilas

Column Two - Concernin' wiv Library Wenches and Sheilas back on the Market

Column Three - Concernin' wiv Blokes needin a wankin commitment 

Column Four - Concernin' wiv foreskins

Column Five -  Concernin' how Collingwood bloody Rules!

Column Six - Concernin wiv a discussion on Aussies with a bleedin wank

P.S. Somebody stole the original doll or we misplaced him somewhere so now the questions are being answered by the bloke to the right, also a doll, who somebody threw into the yard as a toy for the dogs, but who also has quite a mouth on him.