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Original
Writings |
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 Finnegan
Begin Again - Goliardic observations on the first eight pages of
Finnegan's Wake
And the so-called "Peninsular
War" in which Napoleon (who figures prominently in the museum
below) tried to gain control of British-controlled Portugal by
disrupting Spain, ridiculously referred to as a
"peninsula," no doubt has some relevance as well. One of
Napoleon's schemes was to pit Charles IV of Spain against his son
Ferdinand, so perhaps that reminded Joyce of the conflict between
Tristram and his reputedly cowardly uncle Mark, the King of
Cornwall. Charles IV was said, like Mark, to be more befuddled than
competent. Why isn't Italy the peninsula? Too obvious? Penisolate
also in the sense that all wars are fought with variations on the
penis (take note, Mr. Bush) and this was especially evident when
they were fought with the penile utensils of the spear and sword.
This is the secret reason why women should be denied access to the
military. They just don't get it.
The rest of this
story
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Halloween |
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 As
the candles of creativity burned late in the Goliard offices
on
a recent evening, there suddenly came a scratching at the door
which, when it was thrown open, revealed a highly suspicious group of trick or
treaters. Given that it was a few days shy of the appropriate night for such
a visit, the group was asked to state their business and after
fidgeting about on the front walkway bobbing their pumpkins for
several minutes to no effect the creature positioned in
front finally, (and somewhat cryptically we must say) laid
his Jack-O-Lantern aside and intimated in a croaking voice
that "due to some rule changes that everyone would soon be made aware of"
the group had "been sent" a few days early to collect their
"deserved hallowed spoils". After surprised staffers
confessed that they hadn't stocked up on anything that would
be considered treat worthy, the white muzzled spokesman (in what
seemed a rehearsed voice and accompanied by much shimmering
and shuffling of bottom among the back group) said that they would gladly
accept any old shoes, soiled panties, toilet paper rolls,
clumps of horse
manure, baseball gloves, diapers, or indeed, anything smelly that might be easily shredded into little bits or make for a good couple hours chewing.
After a quick meeting the staff
decided not to delve to deeply into the matter and instead
take advantage of the fortuitous opportunity
as excuse to cull out detritus from a couple of closets and hampers that had been
brimming over since the last
staff party with just the types of items listed. The curious
band of nocturnal callers then went happily on
their way, wagging their costume tails and even stopped briefly near the
front hedge to perform
some sort of curious can-can routine, presumably as a show of thanks.
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Young
Ghostlette in Training 
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Staff
News
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New
staffer brought in for special holiday issue gets sick
on first day
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Coming
in November - Undercover
and
On the Move 
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the
Goliard 
a
repository
