"Hello Otis, 

I would appreciate it if you could distribute an announcement to the men in Building 8 regarding the urinal in the men's restroom. After someone pays it a visit, it continues to run in a very loud and annoying way if not operated correctly. There is at least one person in this building who seems to be unaware of the issue and it can be a significant distraction for the typing pool girls if one of us has to go find someone to jiggle the handle and stop the water each time it is left running. It is quite loud and no small disruption to the work that we do not to mention the junior level executives we have to interrupt who have to then leave what they're doing and enter the restroom to address the situation.

Thank you,

Amy

Good Morning Gentlemen, 

It has come to my attention that the urinal in the men's bathroom gets stuck on run mode after being flushed. Please when flushing, do not slap the lever down. Use firm pressure to push downward on lever & release. It is not necessary to hold lever down either. If the urinal continues to run for more than several seconds, jiggle lever downward several times. If this does not stop the flow of water please call me on my cell phone at 964-5514 or speak to me in person ASAP. The valve has been rebuilt by me earlier this year, so I'm not sure what is causing this problem. Let it be known however that if this all continues I will have to take the urinal in building 8 out of commission. If you have any questions please ask. I & a great many others appreciate your cooperation."

Otis M. Knockworth - Maintenance Team Leader

Otis,

Thank you for being proactive on the urinal situation and for leaving me and the girls out of it. I hoped you would be able to appreciate the sensitivity of the whole thing as far as my girls being the ones to complain about the men and what they do in the bathroom. Hopefully this is resolved.

Amy

Amy,

Just FYI, above is the message I distributed this morning to the the guys in Building 8. Was wondering if you feel that I used correct grammar in writing that "I & a great many others appreciate your cooperation?" If my message is acceptable, feel free to forward to "Typing Pool All" so that the girls will know the situation is being dealt with.

Otis

Otis,

Thanks for handling this. And I think that your grammar in that sentence is fine. If you were going to name the others (e.g. Cecilia, Amy and I appreciate...") then you would normally name the others first but since the others remain unnamed (thank you for that!), I think you handled it appropriately.

Amy

Amy,

You're welcome.

Already getting feedback so maybe sometime soon we won't have to worry about water running.

As for keeping you guys out of it, no problem, especially since you are not the cause, just the recipients. I do have a good idea who it is that keeps walking out with the water still running, but need to positively ID him(s). That is the reason I included the "ASAP contact" in my message. Any info received will be kept confidential.

Anything else I can do for you girls let me know. Will be running around this afternoon so use my cell phone if there are any other leads on the matter. An e-mail will also work.

Otis

Amy,

Did you forward me all this because you thought it was something we could joke about on my "level". I enjoyed the exchange but am a bit concerned that you rarely forward me things unless they involve toilets or bodily functions.

Pedro

P,

Of course I sent it to you because I thought it suited your "level" but, unfortunately, that's not the reason that I had to write it in the first place. We really do have a problem with someone who pees and runs. Then the girls and I have to go door to door asking one of the jr. execs to go in and jiggle the handle. It's highly annoying. Cecilia seems to think that Wang is the culprit and I don't necessarily disagree but can't be sure. I considered sending him an e-mail directly but decided that a general announcement would be more diplomatic. I'm just praying that Otis doesn't mention me or cc me in the message or, even worse, come down to my office to discuss the issue in more detail.

Amy

Pedro,

I wish you worked here at the office so someone would have the balls to just deal with this damn urinal thing we've got going. Everybody is so "professional" and always pussy foots around everything so that nothing ever gets done. It's like people don't acknowledge that we all have to answer the call of nature,. I mean even if you are a junior executive you still gotta piss once in awhile. Am I right? The other day I finally just went in and jiggled the damn handle myself and some of the other girls were putting their hands over their mouths when I came back saying things like "Oh Cecilia how could you do that?" I'm like, "Well, lets see, I did it because the damn thing runs nonstop and none of us can get any friggin work done." I'm sure it's that Wang who is at least one of the guys that does it. Maybe it's a cultural thing and they have different flushers over in China. Amy is all uptight about confronting him but what would be the big deal about walking down to his office and saying "Hey Wang, excuse me a second but are you flushing the toilet the right way after you make water? Do me a favor the next time you go to the head Wang (I think I could say that with a straight face) and next time wait a sec to see if the thing stops running before you bolt out of the B-room. We live in a desert you know?" Shouldn't he be washing his hands during that time anyway?" Anyway we actually heard someone the other day milling around in there after it continued to run like they were fiddling with it and still couldn't get it to stop and then they went scurrying out before we could lean around the door and see who it was. Anyhoo, hey maybe you can stop to see me at happy hour later. I'll hang there until late.

See ya,

Your sis in law.

A,

I met this Wang at the Christmas party last year didn't I? I think I may have even taken a whiz next to him. The thing is I don't remember noticing anything peculiar in his flushing techniques. This may be a case of mistaken identity. And why don't you just go ask him for God's sake. This situation definitely highlights our differences both personally and in our chosen careers. This would never happen down at the plant. First of all, we'd just call a damn plumber instead of being involved in this work release program where some lunatic is in charge of maintenance and sits around writing e-mails all day. Come to think of it, there are probably three or four guys on crew right now that either are plumbers in their spare time or have brothers or sisters that are. I'd be willing to bet that there are a few trucks in the parking lot that have spare urinals in the back as we speak. Anyway, got to get back to it. We're playing volleyball at lunch today and I want to get stretched out.

P

P.S. Think I may have to work late tonight and then me and some of the boys might stop by happy hour to unwind. See you later then.

Former Correspondence